in italics (first kings and david's intentionality)

--personal thoughts--

back to the simple template. this won't make sense if you didn't catch my last-posted post, but...this is like me in my closet in the morning. trying something on for a bit to see if it works. :) i did like the other look for a couple days, but back to the first outfit...;) my favorite jeans or skirt always win by default.

how are you today? happens to be a tuesday and morning at present and quiet here. i'm up a little bit late because the horizontal prayer-waking was hard to pull myself away from this time. do you wake up like that? i feel like a blank piece of paper at first...with my four year old standing over and a big thick marker poised. or an empty bucket flooding in with fire hydrant water hose pressure. the thoughts and concerns come quickly when i remember them all at once. but Jesus is close.

--old testament--

so we're still here at the beginning of first kings, and i'm thinking about david's charge to solomon. that's what my version calls it in the heading. "david's charge to solomon." and accurately so; verse three says "keep the charge of the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His ordinances, and His testimonies, according to what is written in the Law of Moses, that you may succeed in all that you do and wherever you turn"...(italics mine). italics mine. 

i use italics a lot in this blog and all the time. cause sometimes all caps looks in your face but i want to emphasize. putting something in italics draws attention...and that's what david is doing here!!!!!! i must note, he was soooo excited to get to see solomon on his throne. 1:48 says, "the king has also said thus, 'blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who has granted one to sit on my throne today while my own eyes see it.'" and he had to emphasize to solomon what was absolute and most important in this charge. and that was keeping the Lord's way. walking before God "in truth with all their heart and with all their soul...." (v. 4). david was intentional. he was putting this in italics for solomon.

and my take away is this intentionality and the teaching, charging spirit of the old blessed king.  it was of vital importance to him in his aging and soon after, dying, that his son be charged with following the heart of God. passing this along to his sons and hoping-dying with hope-that his sons' sons would follow the heart of God was his intentional charge. (i like that word.) 

i want to be like david. to put things in italics for my sons (and my daughter, and my students at school, and my nieces and nephew and the kids in my neighborhood and scott's students at church and anyone ever who may read things that i write.) i love david's intentional and teaching and charging spirit to pass on his passion for following after the heart of God.

--trying this--

and... i recorded some thoughts a couple mornings ago and have had reservations...lol. i was going to show scott but didn't get a chance for him to watch all 4 minutes...at first glance his comment, "you look sad. :/"  so... i have been hesitant. i want to start a video blog, but this first try was super early in the morning and i was talking quietly cause everyone was asleep and apparently i look sad. lol. but this thought about being intentional is ringing in my head, and i can't seem to shake the sense of urgency to share in every way that i can who Jesus is and the hope of walking in His ways as david italicized for solomon. anyway, here is my first blog if i can get it posted:  

i love you, friends. i charge you ;) : let's be intentional as we share our hope. i love you!!!!!!!!!!

reposting this. :) posted a couple days ago but took it off cause... i do look sad :///... my melancholy came out a bit i think. :)  but, with the disclaimer maybe the thoughts behind the message will come through regardless of my "sad."  :):) :)  love to you!

first kings. intro to chapter one and worry praying.

--personal thoughts--
i found a new template. what do ya think? little softer on the eyes and love the bookshelf and the colors...love the books (pretending they're all my favorites.) :) (coming back to this a few days later and that doesn't make sense ...actually changed it back to simple cause yeah...this is sooo like me and my living room wall color/me in my closet. fun to try it on though...:)............).

it is 5:19 a.m. and i have been piddling around (trying to figure out why i'm awake. wide open in the center of the night...eyes wide opened to see. asking for God to speak to my heart.) since... oh about 3:30/3:40. i think the first i looked at my phone clock was 2:52. well...i went to bed at 9 and this body isn't used to more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep. that, and this constant sense of urgency to pray. worry pray. but that's an oxymoron i think. am i praying or worrying?

am i missing something? 

Jesus!! (italicized. capitalized with exclamation points. prayed. not taken in vain... Jesus.) i need You.

at the end of the worry prayer, He takes His thinline sharpie and cleanly crosses through the worry part. and He writes above and in the margin: heard. 
               got it.
                                     effective.
                   sustaining.
                                                             your prayers matter, steph.

stephie... I have affection for you and I hear you and I know you and I know the need. I'm interested and involved and already working and your waiting is temporary. a breath and there will be resolution. and the pain is only for a night. and joy is in the morning. yeah, stephie, sometimes early morning. ;)... i am in the quiet of your house. (i hear Him call me stephie).

--old testament--------------
"David in Old Age"  ...the heading at the beginning of first kings one. his health was failing, and he couldn't keep warm.  they brought him a wife to hold but he "did not cohabit with her." and...it had to be brought to his attention in a really clear jolt that one of his sons was trying to take the throne though he'd promised it to solomon.

for today, i just want to see confirmed an idea that the Lord is speaking in this quiet dark...just one thought.

i have lived in fear that i will miss something. what if i'm not quiet enough in my heart to pray the way my loved peeps need me to...what if they go through stuff that could've been avoided had their mom been more consistent? if her sister had been more consistent. (all she has left cause our mom and dad are in heaven already.) what if i miss something?

i want to be assured of this one thing. if my heart desires the closeness of my Savior Jesus, and it fully compleeeeeetely unreservedly trusts His perfect hand to order...then He will act and move in response to even the simplest most brief quiet whisper prayer. HE HEARS. and He will move others and circumstances and He will awaken hearts and will convict and comfort and cover with grace. and He will not allow satan to win where we have hope-prayed for victory.

He moved nathan and bathsheba and king david to right the wrong of adonijah's err. david did not miss it. he didn't miss it in his old age. in his frailty and weakness, he didn't miss it.  God didn't let him goof this next king thing up. He moved people and circumstances to accomplish what was right even when david was too old to reign with awareness or discernment...God moved. and solomon became king. and he let david see...live to see...that He is at work and interested and in control. and He granted david sound-mindedness to charge solomon in an anointing speech (for next post).

thank You for this thought in the quiet dark. i love You. Jesus.

pedaling

hi, friends! i am getting back on the bike today (see last post). i've missed this so much...mostly because i haven't been in the Word as much the last few months.

i am a bread-lover. in fact...toast sounds good right now. be right back....

so imagine me in my closet (oh ha...i have a little sitting/praying spot in here. i promise i'm not hiding from the kids. lol they're not even up yet!)...with my ipad and my wheat toast with butter and jelly...thinking of you. and so....bread is often the food symbolic of general body-nourishment. and this tastes good. (are you hungry?) yeah, i awoke with a slightly upset digestive system and just a little something helps so much. the toast and my white grape juice. sounds like communion. and well...

i need this. i need this bread and juice right now. and i need His Word. not just to add those extra carbs (like the side of crackers with soup or the appetizer roll at a restaurant) but to nourish.

so thank you so much for your patience with me.

i left off in the old testament and will pick up with first kings. i hope to complete the old testament this year by the end of december and blog through the new testament in 2014 (a definite re-plan as i have gone back to 2012 and those first few posts as we started this bike ride. i'm learning what the commitment to this looks like and have prayed about 2014...and this is my hope-plan to pedal through.)

thank you soooooo much for reading and sharing in this extended journey with me. it's become about getting back up when i've fallen off the bike and learning balance and endurance and adjusting to the ride and...just pedaling. (let's do this!)

(note to my friend, denise/a consistent encouragement to me those first several months of blogging!: as i just finished writing this, i thought of you and your new and wonderful passion for biking and made the connection. thank you for encouraging and inspiring, and i am praying for you this morning as i imagine the long treks you've made on your bike! huge love...and a big hug, dear friend!)